~ FOR SALE ~ WANTED ~
~ LOST & FOUND ~
| For quick sale: Electric cattle prod, set of white robes and full-size orrery. All offers considered. Tel. 7154 anytime Mouse organs for sale Phone 854895 daytime 25kg bags of asbestos for sale, good condition - lifetime warranty Buyer collects Box no: 485 Children's drum kit for sale, must be sold urgently. Phone 8541785 after 6.00pm Wanted - ecclesiastical dog-collar, will exchange for jodhpurs. Phone 08854 57385764 Novelty trousers for sale. Phone 8886224 after 9.00 pm Keep up with the latest fashion trends! - 24hr mobile eyebrow shaving service. Phone Hamish: 08854 57385764 Toilet Repairs while-u-wait. Tel. Norris Bladder on 89578742 Clutterbuck and Bracegirdle discount coffin sale, top quality units on display with part exchanges possible. Lifetime guarantee on all our products. Visit our showroom 9.00am - 5.30pm or phone 8886372. Wanted: Career-minded professional criminals with an interest in discussing as yet undisclosed matters of mutual benefit. Phone B. Tiddle 07737 128994 Exorcisms done cheap! Phone: 08854 57385764 after 11.00pm For sale - cheap sledge, large size. Phone 8886224 evenings Need a photographer? Then ring Reginald Snipe on 4472687 after 6.00pm. Weddings, funerals, blackmail, all types of work undertaken. Bob Gascoigne Qualified heating engineer Phone Brampton 88642197 Venison for sale at wholesale prices. Phone 8886224 after 9.00 pm Best prices paid by weight for old elastic and rubber bands. Collection service available. Contact: A.P.P. Bungee Promotions Ltd. (Brampton) (Mob.) 49617 5559948 Old people & children wanted for medical research, top prices paid, no questions asked, no time wasters please. Contact: Pots Industries (Brampton) Genuine elf meat for sale. Phone 8886224 after 9.00 pm For sale - Two cubic metres of pre-mixed rapid set concrete left-over, only delivered last Friday, offers please, buyer must collect. Phone 8845672 Wanted - Contract killer for forthcoming school sports day. Box No. 5846 A.S.A.P. Mangle repairs - fully qualified mangle maintenance engineer. Leopold Partifrock, B.Sc. (Eng.) Tel. 8839175 Cash paid for your soul - will collect. Contact Mortimer Sweet Tel. 8848887 J. B. Twanky & Sons - building contractors - no job too small. Tel. 8816498 Can't dance? Learn to sing, dance and rap the Gonad way. Contact Bert: Tel. 6754848 For sale - 14" fish - open to sensible offers. Tel. 8857492 after 8.00pm Top cash prices paid for all bodily fluids - must be reasonably fresh. - 24hr collection service. Phone Hamish: 08854 57385764 Become skilled at classical spoon playing the Ernald Crisp way; individual tuition, personal attention guaranteed. Keep fit without the tedium! Contact: The Ernald Crisp Institute P.O. box: 113 (Mob. 06895 568491) Mind-control brain implant kits for sale, complete with full installation instructions and remote control unit. (batteries not included) Hours of fun. Tel. 8857492 after 8.00pm Soiled unicycle for sale, slightly bent. £10.50 Box No. 202 Home made herbal genital cleanser for sale, 100% natural ingredients, suitable for all genders. Removes most household stains; paint, tar, motor oil, etc. (unsuitable for pets or houseplants.) Tel. 6754848 after 10.00pm Imported Taiwanese knitted Xmas stars - only £4.99 each! Box No. 8156 Cash paid for any unwanted valuables - no time wasters please. Box No. 202 For Sale Nearly new 78rpm gramophone and wireless, genuine reasons for sale. Box No. 5485 For Sale - Dr. Pots home gymnasium, paid £600 will accept £50, purchaser will have to pick it up themselves as it is very heavy. Phone 882674 Fashionably distressed underpants for sale - big selection. Box no. 8452 Wanted - back copies of "Gravedigger's Weekly". Cash paid, will collect. Ring T. Bracegirdle after 11.00pm. Tel. 8846372 Tattoos, body piercing etc. Our fully qualified staff are the fastest tattooists in the business - we guarantee you will be amazed. KwikPrik Tattoos, 13, Cack Lane, Brampton. Tel: 88135468 (24hr service) Elocution and deportment classes for little ladies. Enrol your daughters now for our special 'charm' course. Under 15s only. Contact: The Ernald Crisp Institute P.O. box: 113 (Mob. 06895 568491) String for sale - any length to order, will deliver. Box No. 539 Alternative health therapy available for most ailments at Sodde Hall Health Spa - see our web page for full details. Ford Escort for sale - 2 years old, one careful owner, slight damage to paintwork, bumper, bonnet, windscreen, roof and doors. Tyres slightly worn. Any reasonable offer considered. Tel. 9467243 Pair of stainless steel 19th century Chinese musical spoons, very good condition. Ill health forces sale. Box No. 202 Headstones, shrouds and brass coffin handles for sale, no rubbish, all good quality items. Tel. 6754848 after 10.00pm LOST Clog Lane area - matching string vest & underpants. Reward Box No. 5687 For Sale: Three wheeled early 18th century minstrel cycle - offers. Box No. 5821 Offers invited for "How To Make A Fortune" book, bankruptcy forces sale. Box No. 5867 Toothpaste wanted. Box no. 3472 Young ladies' keep fit classes - individual tuition, personal attention guaranteed. (age 13 - 18 only) Contact: The Ernald Crisp Institute P.O. box: 113 (Mob. 06895 568491) Life size used rubber poultry for sale - various styles, no rubbish. Tel. 6754848 after 10.00pm Need an odd job man? I do odd things cheap - Phone Hamish: 08854 57385764 - 24hr service. Cardboard toilet roll inners urgently required, CASH paid. Box no. 7583 Antique hand-made taddle - offers. Box No. 202 Sheepskin for sale, slightly worn at one end - £5 for quick sale due to bereavement. Tel. 03857566 (daytime) 804c/GNF-65277n/cbg6 (standard grip) desperately needed - will swap for some live kittens. Box No. 4768 Unwanted pets collected, no questions asked. Phone 8846372 after 11.00 pm Left handed bibbling harness for sale with hand carved mahogany knobs. £173.56 o.n.o. Box no. 3856 Cash paid for old pants. Box no. 8452 24hr tortoise polishing service - a shiny tortoise is a happy tortoise. Phone Hamish: 08854 57385764 For Sale - reconditioned prophylactics, all sizes available, all in good condition, money back warranty. Pots Industries, Brampton. Amateur photography classes - camera owners only. Contact: The Ernald Crisp Institute P.O. box: 113 (Mob. 06895 568491) Leave envelope behind gravestone at midnight on Friday. GG |
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then visit (Brampton) Ltd. Purveyors of Gentlemen's Bespoke Clubs, Cudgels & Coshes ***** We also stock a comprehensive range of miniature 'handbag' models for the use of ladies. CLICK HERE to see our product catalogue. *** C.C.C. Ltd., 177, Main Rd., Brampton (Please note that our products are unsuitable for use on animals) |
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