Jobs & Employment in Brampton

Must have previous experience in Northern counties. A mad stare and a natural ability to misdirect traffic would be an advantage. Accommodation and hat provided. Would suit exiled morris dancer.
Contact Brampton jobcentre for further details.
(ref: 8572365b/76930)

Vacancy for skilled wheelbarrow operator. Must be fully qualified to degree standard with at least 10 years experience. Full C.V. and at least two references required. A working knowledge of sewage and/or maggots would be an advantage. A fantastic career opportunity for the right applicant. Salary negotiable.
Box T5732

Staff needed to watch old people. Must be sober. No pay, but many hidden benefits. Apply in person to:
The Brampton Home for Bewildered Gentlefolk,
Brampton.

Part time sheep inseminator required for urgent relief work.
Contact Titus Buggry,
Midden Farm,
Lower Plump Bottom,
Nr. Brampton.

Large, aggressive and naturally unpleasant person needed to staff our complaints desk. Intimidation skills and/or shouting experience preferred.
Apply in person to:
Muff's Hypermart,
Brampton.

Promotion assured with advanced grovelling courses; to suit civil servants, bank and most office staff. Toadying, creeping, general smarminess and oiliness all developed as useful work skills in our special fast track 'brown-tongue' intensive crash course.
Contact:
The Ernald Crisp Institute
P.O. box: 113 (Mob. 06895 568491)

Door to door suppository salesman urgently required, must be convincing and familiar with all types and uses.
Apply box no. R6289

Assistant required for menial work. Apply in person to Clutterbuck and Bracegirdle (undertakers) after 11.00 pm

Temporary sickness cover required, low pay but free dinners.
Apply in person to Brampton Sewage Works.

Required for outdoor site from March - August. Must have own transport, uniform and guard dog. Good rates of pay from 75p to 85p per hour with overtime available. Please apply in writing including a CV.
Box S954.

Must be between 8 and 13 years old. Monday to Friday, 4 am to 8 am. 20p/hour.
Box R326.

I do, for only 60 hours work. Impressed? Then read on. I sell rubber underwear from door to door. For further details contact Bert.
Box H209.

Hardworking young person required to shovel waste products, training will be given, must be strong and clean with good sense of humour. Send your CV to:
Box B548.

Temporary sickness cover required.
Contact Muffs Hypermart, Main Road, Brampton.

Earn £30.00 per week delivering our catalogue in and around the Chesterfield and Staveley areas. A wheelbarrow is provided.
Box F665.

Wanted for massage parlour. Must be attractive, and aged between 16 and 25 with an outgoing bubbly character. No ugly or wrinkled applicants please. Salary based on bust size. Sociology degree an advantage.
Box S6900.

We are one of Europe's largest serviette makers and need extra staff to fold and package our products for dispatch around the world. Applicants must be nimble fingered and be prepared to work long hours. Phone Waffle's after 7 pm.

Needed to lift heavy iron castings on and off high shelves and be able to count to 10. Salary £11.00 per week plus overtime. Contact Heavy Iron Castings Ltd., Sheepbridge Industrial Estate.

Temporary sickness cover required, Brampton Bugle photography department.

Needed to inspect and remove greenfly from our farm produce. Payment will be based on weight of greenfly removed. Previous experience and/or references required.
Box K874.

Must be able to carry out top secret government research very quietly. A mad stare and an enigmatic personality would be preferred. No time wasters.
Contact Brampton Grange Top Secret Government Research Establishment.
Tel. 881655944 (Quote password: Tf5968h-d/Wj3672/TndWjjD6-yMmm/boff)

Staff required at Percy Pea Co. - good prospects of promotion for the right persons. Pay us a visit any time between 10.00 am and 3.00 pm. No time wasters please. The ideal applicant should have a degree in higher mathematics.

Earn up to £4378.27 per week with our revolutionary sales techniques. Startup kit only £199.99.  Contact Stringalong Promotions on 94687 after 6.00 pm.

Slappers Nite Spot requires doormen/fun-stewards. Must be clean and violent. Apply in person during opening hours. Criminal record an advantage but not essential.

Bronchial or asthmatic ladies required to man adult telephone chat lines. Theatrical abilities and a sense of humour would be a great advantage. Full training, mobile phone and free tobacco provided for suitable applicants.
Box S6900.

Enthusiastic and outgoing person required to organise, arrange meetings and handle subscriptions with the aim of increasing membership to the Brampton Apathy Association.

Unemployed? Fret no longer, we do degree courses in basket weaving, clearing drains and moving heavy stones with ease. Ask for further details of these and other professional career opportunities opened with a degree from Poolsbrook University.

Junior staff needed to work in our testing laboratory. Must not be allergic to sawdust. Earn up to 62p per hour.
Apply in person to:
Gloria Sandpiper (head of marketing & personnel)
Brampton Abrasives Co. Ltd.
Tel. 06453 8574673 ext. 8375