Brampton News




Locals Relieved as Pig Mystery is Solved
(by agricultural correspondent Daisy Huddersfield)

Only two weeks after Enid Pantribench (77) was seriously injured by a falling pig, armed police acting on a tip-off led a dawn raid on a fourth floor flat in Anchovy Crescent last Wednesday morning. Retired farmer Septimus Blight (89) was arrested and charged with attempted manslaughter and keeping livestock on Council property. A police spokesman, after conducting a finger tip search of the flat and balcony, said: "We found six or seven sheep, three heifers, and at least eight hens in disgraceful conditions; the smell made me as sick as a parrot, and we were mystified by the fact that one of the sheep was wearing a rather fetching engraved silver necklace that said 'Marjory'." Neighbour Mrs. Britney Haggard (79), who lives in the flat below Mr. Blight, stated: "We always knew something was going on up there; I complained to the Council twice, and I'm 72 you know. We thought it was just ballroom dancing, although we could never understand where all the dung on the staircase was coming from; the man from the Council told us it was quite normal for this district."
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fresh meat
(Glamour photography by Reg Snipe)


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