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Local chiropodist and Satanist Mr. Mortimer Sweet (58) couldn't believe his luck last week when his wife Fanny (55) ran into their living room waving two halves of a cucumber in the air and crying; "Lo! the Prince of Darkness has seen fit to bless us with a sign, duck." "Best 'phone the Bugle then", replied Mr. Sweet, "and let them know of the eternal torment that will surely follow." Our reporter visited Mr. & Mrs. Sweet's house in Stench Street last week to investigate the unholy vegetable, now pickled and in a display cabinet at the head of the couple's imposing sacrificial altar. Over a glass of mulled chicken blood, Mrs. Sweet explained; "Now the world will be ours, you filthy piece of scum." ***** 
Potentially evil cucumbers. |
Copyright Brampton Bugle Publications 2001/2/3/4
"We know where you live"