 (by Bob Rumptangle, environmental correspondent) Following a series of highly important social research initiatives, a survey of dog faeces in Brampton has found that at least 9,153 piles of dung could be present on the streets at any one time. Traditionally, pedestrians have always cursed the excretion, which tends to be left in often decorative but nonetheless potentially hazardous heaps in the wake of walking canines. Past research has shown the longevity of dog mess in urban environments can be up to three months before being trodden in, washed away or stolen, but few have so thoroughly documented the phenomenon like Professor Julian Clench, Head of the Faecal and General Excretory Studies Department at Poolsbrook University. Counting along two lines of 1.6 miles, Professor Clench found 0.08 lumps per square metre, which when extrapolated could mean at least 9,153 piles all over Brampton. Interestingly, if that amount of excretory matter were spread thinly enough, it would coat the entire area, including buildings and lamp-posts, within a radius of 4.37 miles. "I was surprised by the amount," said the researcher, who carried out the survey last year with the aid of his students and local schoolchildren, but his figure was a conservative estimate. "I wanted to err on the side of caution, so if several stools were left contiguously in an area less than 7.5 inches square, I would only count that as one." However, according to Professor Clench, that is only the tip of the iceberg: "In my professional opinion there are probably thousands more unidentified piles of faecal matter sitting around in private gardens and yards, not to mention back passages, as our survey was confined exclusively to public areas. However, looking on the bright side, without further research we cannot be certain they all are of canine origin. Obviously, we intend to probe the matter in more depth in the future." He added: "There are movements within academic circles who would turn their noses up at this research, but I firmly believe we are making an important social contribution in documenting what is, and has been for countless generations, an intrinsic part of local cultural heritage." *****  Professor Julian Clench PhD Head of Faecal and General Excretory Studies, Poolsbrook University. |
Copyright Brampton Bugle Publications 2005
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