GLAMOUR MODEL IN VEGETABLE PROBE!
by our news reporter
Bill Gripes (photos by Reg Snipe)

Part
time glamour model Miss Venus "Lolita" Thorsen (above), was devastated on Tuesday to find
a used tampon in a tin of garden peas produced by the local Percy Pea Company.
"It was horrible - my daughters could have been choked to death or even
worse. I intend to sue them again for every penny they've got", she told
our reporter yesterday. Miss Thorsen (33), an unemployed single mother
of three young girls aged 7, 9 and 10, only three months ago found two
dead slugs in a container of frozen peas packed by the same company. She
received £12.73 in an out of court settlement after local councillor
Tom Sykes took up the case on her behalf and her complaint was printed
in a national newspaper.
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Examining peas on the conveyor belt
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