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(By financial correspondent Dickie Brayne) After 6 years of intensive scientific research, a crack squad of top statisticians working on the behalf of Brampton Council have finally achieved the results long striven for. "Hundreds of questionnaires filled in by the general public over the years have finally been put to good use; this report shows that all the hard work was well worth the effort", explained tremendously excited chief statistical analyst Luke Slike (20). "The overall percentages between 1996 and 1998 were pretty high, with no sign of variation on the horizon, but after 1998 a continued annual reduction ended with last year's superb figure of 12 percent, and we were ecstatic at the outcome." The local Council were extremely pleased with the results, and Councillor Roger M. Bandy (37) told our reporter "To achieve such an impressive overall percentage figure at this precise moment in time was beyond our wildest expectations. We think it was £1,340,000 well spent, and will no doubt be wonderful news for ordinary Brampton residents. Hopefully we can now start looking at ways to increase the figures." *****  Conclusive statistical analysis. (In simplified graphic form for the benefit of ladies.) |
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Copyright Brampton Bugle Publications 2002/3
"We're not proud"