Brampton Firm in PickleBad news for connoisseurs of pickled tripe worldwide has been received by the Bugle newsdesk. The Brampton Pickle and Tripe Works may be closed down after an inspection by health officials earlier this month. Members of the public had made various complaints to the Department of Health concerning foreign bodies found in jars of the company's speciality product, "Dr. Pots' Pickled Tripe", highly prized as an aphrodisiac on the continent. Police were called in after local widow Mrs. Gladys Snort (77) allegedly found a human toe in one jar, and was convinced it belonged to her late husband. "You could tell by the taste", she said. Forensic scientists waited patiently for three days at the home of Mrs. Snort in the hope that some of the bone had not been digested, but to no avail. A spokesperson for Messrs. Clutterbuck and Bracegirdle, the local undertakers, said; "Mrs. Snort did opt for our bargain of the month special discount offer, and fully understood that to use a smaller hearse meant using a shorter coffin, but it's a mystery as to how the alleged toe came to be where it was allegedly found."  (Artist's impression of foot clearly showing an alleged toe.) The head of the research, development and special export products department at the Brampton Pickle and Tripe Works said to our news reporter Bill Gripes; "This allegation is scandalous - our pickling methods are second to none, and renown throughout Europe. We take every reasonable precaution not to allow lumps of human flesh to pollute our products, even those intended purely for export. This is clearly a case of malicious industrial sabotage." The investigation is continuing. ***** |
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